I

I am 32 years old and a Registered Nurse working with adults with disabilities. I have been overweight all of my life. I can remember being in weight watchers at the youngest at 8 years old. There is no time in my life that I have not been on a so called diet. Some times being more strict than others. I always go into the various diets such as weight watchers, Atkins, South Beach, physician high protein supervised, Slim Fast, Dean Ornish Diet, Cabbage Soup and others, with all the best intentions. However until now NEVER have I really committed MYSELF to doing this. I am not one of those people that can say "I want to loose weight to do what I once did". I have never known thin. I often wonder if that thin person is and can ever be found inside. I grew up always having a weight problem and always trying to fix it. Growing up my weight did affect my self esteem quite a bit. I tended to not be involved in those things that would not show my weakness from being so big. As almost anyone that is overweight I have quite a few memories of the name calling, moos behind me and other ridicules. And of course all those things eventually take an emotional toll on you. In college I broke away from all of those people that knew me in high school. I finally found a beauty in my bodacious size. I have lived my life doing really almost anything and everything I have wanted. Went to college gradauted with a nursing, psychology and recreation therapy degree. Have traveled the world. Married and have an awesome home in the suburbs. Two things in life I have not been able to accomplish. First I want to be a mom. And Second the thing I have strived for ALL my life is to be thin and healthy. It really has not been till recently that I have grasped just how much my weight has affected my life. There is always my fears of not fitting in the chair wherever I go. Or the fear of the chair breaking. The fear that the person behind you is always making jokes about your weight. Over the last few years I have had to start taking medications for high blood pressure, diabetes, PCOS and hypothyroidism. I am definitely a much better nurse to others than I am to myself. I don’t know why I have done this to myself, however all I can say is that I have put myself on a crash course to commit suicide by obesity.

My whole family is overweight. My parents are both well over 300 pounds each. My grandfather died at nearly 500 pounds. He even made money as a child by being the chubby kid on the little rascals. Seems when one looks at it I was destined to be overweight, hypertensive and diabetic. Though I may not be able to do ANYTHING about my genetics. I WILL from this point on STOP my family’s cycle of obesity. I am the last of the Young’s in my family. I have to leave a legacy of something other than being one of the big people.

Speaking of family, my drive to get healthy and loose once and for all came after a hard last month. This may seem weird to say, however Cancer, Heart Failure and Kidney Failure have been the best thing to happen to me. They have given me a reason and drive to change my life before I end up there. December 1, 2007 my mother was diagnosed with Colon Cancer. They think they have caught it in the early stages. However still very scary since we just lost my uncle from the same thing. And he, he was the perfect picture of good health and wellness. Then two days before Christmas my father found himself in the hospital being told he is in heart and kidney failure. My heart has ached for there is nothing I can do to take these things from them. There is however something I can do to help my entire family. It is to be an example of good health. My dad since we started on this new eating plan is down 25 pounds. The entire family is now being aware and watching what they eat. So anyhow, I want to do this for me and to stop a cycle that is greater than four generations in the making.

Now to my husband and I. Chris and I have been together for 7 years and married for four. We both were overweight when we met. Our relationship definitely has not been without problems. And honestly so many of which are a result of feelings surrounding my own weight and a poor self esteem. Most of our fun while dating and being married has been surrounded by eating. Eating for enjoyment and entertainment, rather than for nutrition and need. Many times we will have arguments over what to and what not to eat. We tend to enable the other at times. I buy him regular soda pop because that is what he wants. He brings me home food items to show a token of love and appreciation. We recently have been through some hard times and even considered to divorce. We have been through a miscarriage from my PCOS, diabetes and weight. And now facing infertility and the inability to adopt. We were in the process of adopting from China when the Chinese government changed their rules that obese individuals can not adopt from their country. Being parents is a major goal for us. Through this challenge we hope to not necessarily become parents. Rather to become healthy and well enough to actually care for our child. Since starting this challenge Chris and I have actually became a lot closer. We are finally working on a goal together. It is really nice to have someone that you love so much working beside you to reach a common goal. Chris’s grandparents were married for nearly 60 years. We want to have that. If we are to have that then the time to become healthy and well is now. We are so excited that the biggest loser has done this challenge. We went to a casting call in Chicago for season 5 and it was there that we realized we had to make a change. Being in this challenge gives us a place to be responsible to. A place kind of like going to a weight watchers meeting.

I know that I am no different than all of the thousands of others obese in America. In a room of a 100 obese individuals there are 99 that would give anything to win this challenge. So why should we win. Well, I can not say that I deserve it more than the next. However I can say that I would appreciate and cherish every opportunity that comes from being in the Million Pound Match Up. I want to use my new found health and wellness to teach others. I have a dream to be a personal health trainer and have my own gyms specifically for individuals that are 300+ pounds. I find that it is difficult for many reasons to go to a gym when you are extremely obese. I want to help people see that this weight loss can happen WITHOUT surgery. I have been a very lazy person sometimes and honestly if you give 100+% you will reap great rewards.

Thanks for taking the time to read my story. I wish each and every person great success in this challenge. I found this quote that is truly my favorite.